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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me being her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend helping her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with another. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: noticing the details, posting them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the work we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone likes being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Appearing on video occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but companions help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a short video now and then would be fun for her. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She must to respect her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some real memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?